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Maximum Ink: Are you guys still making bacon onstage?
John Humphrey: We’re cookin’ bacon. If people who work at the clubs or come to the show bring it, then we’ll do it up.
MI: You don’t keep your own bacon supply in the tour van?
JH: Oh, man, we did for awhile but we’ve done it so much that we really don’t do it anymore. If it’s a club, we tell ‘em that we want it.
MI: Some clubs must think that’s a strange request.
JH: Oh, they think it’s totally fucked up! We’re crazy. This one time we were going through the airport in Kansas City and Scott’s got this bag and it sets all the metal detectors off. In it, there’s a frying pan, a claw-hammer, and bacon. Psycho… They wouldn’t let us on the airplane.
MI: Does you band’s name have anything to do with the hip-hop artist Cash Money?
JH: No, not at all. I do know of him but Scotty said our name’s from his two favorite artists: Johnny Cash and Eddie Money.
MI: YEAH! Speaking of bacon again, has some vegan audience member ever freaked out about it?
JH: Oh, we get so much shit about the bacon. A lot of places won’t let us do it. They say it’s a fire hazard 'cuz we're cookin’ with a hot plate onstage. In LA they were like “we don’t have real bacon, we only have turkey bacon,” ‘cuz it’s all vegan. It’s funny, it gets people fired up one way or another. All the fuckin’ hillbillies love it and all the snobby, post-rock turds go home.
MI: Are there any books or movies in particular that inspire you?
JH: That’s heavy. I’m drunk. Call me and I’ll make you a list.
MI: I noticed you guys play a lot of really syncopated rhythms which helps fill up space.
JH: We always play the downbeat and stuff like that and it kinda creates the illusion of bass. But yeah, I appreciate that you notice that.
MI: Scott, I’m supposed to ask about Bunt-Pan McDougal.
Scott Giampino: BUNT-PAN MCDOUGAL!! That’s my pet name for (Touch and Go publicist Rob Sieracki). He fucks up about seven times a day so I gotta slap ‘em around… slap his ass. He sits back there telling a story and who knows what the hell he’s talkin’ about. It’s like, “Rob, what’s the fucking point of your story?”
MI: I was surprised the first time I called Touch and Go. I expected some angry, mean-spirited guy to answer the phone and I got Rob, this really accommodating guy.
SG: Oh no, no. I know what you mean. (We’re) not like Am-Rep or some other joke label…
MI: Well… have a good tour. You'll be in Wisconsin soon?
SG: We'll try to get up to Madison again. I like playin’ O’Cayz. It’s a cool place. Come out, get loaded. We’ll take care of ‘ya.
MI: Sounds good. Adios!
Cash Money's currently on tour promoting their new album, Halos of Smoke and Fire. Go see ‘em and bring the bacon…
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